I don’t know about you but one of my greatest joys is having a juicy conversation. I find when I get into these conversations that let ideas explode out and we can explore them with others my energy level goes through the roof. I feel like I’m on top of the world. However, the opposite is also true. When I’m in a conversation where there is a lot of negativity being expressed and the conversation is superficial I can’t get into it and my energy level wains. I come away from the conversation feeling depleted. Why do you suppose this happens to us? 

Well from my experience when the interaction I am having with a person or group of people is a sharing of ideas, conversation, and it is happening in an honouring way to all involved my inside physiology changes. My brain starts working more rapidly taking in all the ideas and pondering them as the conversation continues. I also get excited to jump in and share because I want to be part of the conversation and contribute, letting my ideas fly out and play with others. I become more focused, I sit differently and lean into the conversation more deeply. I feel a sense of give and take from all participants as the collaboration of ideas expands and expands. After these types of conversations, my energy level is so heightened that I talk excitedly, quickly, and I have energy to burn. That energy opens me to be more creative as ideas continue to flow when the conversation is over. Quite often I want to do something physical to expend some of the energy.

So that was what it is like in a great conversation but almost the opposite reactions happen in negative or superficial conversations. I can feel the energy draining, almost running away from my body. My mind becomes unfocused and my inner chatter starts ramping up its volume and negative speak. My posture slumps a bit and sometimes I even have the physical reaction of moving back, to get away, or avoid. My breathing becomes shallow and only in my chest almost like it is following the superficialness of the conversation. Like my body is saying only surface breathing is allowed during this conversation.

I would invite you to look at the patterns you notice in yourself in different conversations. Our bodies are talking to us continually and letting us know if we are on track or not. If you notice feelings like I have described maybe it’s time to make a choice on which conversations you spend most of your time. For me, nowadays I engage in very few that drain my energy and make my inner chatter ramp up. If I end up in one of those conversations I usually exit stage left pretty quickly. 

Our time here is so precious! The joy of great conversations is so immense for me and feeds my soul so much I choose to spend my time in that arena. I continually strive to live in a space of having my energy feeling good and I weed out those areas where it doesn’t. As we choose more and more activities and conversations that hold us in a space of feeling good inside our inner chatter lessens, our doubt lessens, and we start seeing more and more beauty around us.  We start living our life with a sense of joy instead of surviving the stuff.