In this part, we will look at our protection in a different aspect, one of comfort. It becomes a comfortable place to be because we get used to it and changing it is feels scary and uncomfortable.
When we were born, we didn’t have these protective guardians in place. There was no armour, layers, or mechanisms. There was just us in our knowing. We learned to embrace these guardians. They became old friends and it felt like there was no separation between us. The comfort they can bring us is immense. This can be such a cozy spot to live and live there we can. But if we want to shine in life and be the best version of ourselves possible, then we can’t remain in that cozy protected spot because while the protection may keep us safe it also doesn’t let our light shine out into the world. If we are protecting against anything coming in then the opposite is true as well … nothing can get out.
I find this topic truly fascinating as it is interwoven in all aspects of my life. It’s an area of diligent progression as I choose to move forward on my journey. At times, I have an overwhelming sense of aloneness, separateness, and I’ve come to realize this comes from the protective armour I’ve put in place. One way of coping was to stay separate and apart. To feel like an island in the stream or a fish out of water. This recently came to light for me one day when I was feeling really out of sorts and as I discussed my feelings with my husband he made a simple comment: “that’s a place you feel comfortable.”
At first, I wanted to protest but I couldn’t because it was oh-so-true. I had let that well-woven dense layer become so cozy that it was there in an instant without me even having to think about it or summon it. Without having to invoke it or consciously wrapping myself in it. I’ve sat with that feeling for a couple of weeks now not knowing where it was going to go or how I was moving forward with it. Would it come along like the old friend I knew or would we greet each other in another way? The answer came to me finally that it was time for the relationship with my protection to change and grow.
In the final part of the series you will find out my realizations and choice to no longer live in the shadows of my protective layers.