That’s a curious question. Are you hiding in your calendar? Do you have a calendar that is jammed packed and you never get around to everything so you keep moving things and moving them? Do you use the phrase a lot … I’m so busy I couldn’t possibly do that, or I’m so busy I have no time in my day to … and I’ll let you fill in your own blank.
For me the phrase I’m too busy hits home when I have a conversation with someone else and they ask what I’ve been up to. My mind goes blank and I think, I know I’ve been busy but what have I been doing? I usually end up laughing and saying “I know I’ve been busy but I can’t think of a thing to tell you”. So have I truly been busy or has my mind made it up because I packed my calendar full? Does a full calendar mean you are busy? Or could it mean you are hiding out? I do tend to have a fairly full calendar but what I’ve realized is I’m not prioritizing my time well. I’ve never stopped and looked at my calendar from the view of how can I use this to enhance my life. Instead, I’ve let my calendar run my life. I was on a wonderful training this past weekend with the brilliant Laura Gisborne. She walked us through an exercise looking at how we spend our time and she reminded us time is precious. She was discussing this from the standpoint of scheduling the truly important things first and having boundaries around your time. My mind since then has been wondering do we hide in our calendars?
Hiding in your calendar is an interesting concept. By packing it full are you making yourself look busy or are you busy? Does it make you feel worthy and even successful to have a full calendar? Actually, I’ve realized in the past I have used my calendar as a weapon against myself. It allows my inner chatter to remind me I’m truly not that important and I’m not organized/smart enough/capable enough to complete the tasks I have laid out for myself. What I have found is when I do this for a period of time I tend to stop putting things on my calendar except for appointments because it feels too daunting. Instead, I write things on long to-do lists and just keep deleting and adding because somehow this is different from my calendar. Unfortunately, it has the same result. It depletes my energy.
The other thing I tend to do with my calendar is put time limits on certain things that are unrealistic. It’s a different form of the weapon for me. With this one, my inner chatter tells me I’m lacking in the ability to get things done in a timely fashion, and no wonder I don’t get anywhere because clearly, I have no idea what it takes to get things done. So again I give my power away to the calendar and I retreat.
For me, when I allow fear and doubt to run my calendar I get the above results and it moves me into the smallness shadow because I’m listening to my inner chatter. From this point of realization, realizing I have a choice on whether to listen or not, I shifted my calendar to be my ally and use it as a tool to assist me to accomplish my heart desires for the week and to schedule appointments and amazing conversation. By doing this I shifted it from a weapon of lack to a tool of abundance. I invite you to look at your calendar and assess whether if it is running you, are you running from it, or have you embraced it be of assistance?