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Beauty, Bullying, and Why Should We Care!

January 18, 2018

There is so much beauty that surrounds us. On a daily basis the beauty that comes into our line of vision is astounding. As I look out my window right now, I can see that it is a cold, blustery day and some would say “brrrr…. It looks horrible out there… it is way too cold. I’ll go and curl up in a blanket.” But I’m noticing the way the snowflakes are lazily falling and then the way they dance through the air as a gust of arctic wind grabs them and plays with them. The other source of beauty I notice is the pattern of snow that has been dusted onto the cul de sac out front of my home. It is like Mother Nature painted intricate patterns of snow for our pleasure. Why is it that I can see the beauty in all of this, but it is so difficult to see the beauty in me?

The age-old sayings that she is “beautiful inside and out” and “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” come to mind for me. I have spent my whole life being teased about my size, the way I dress, my hair cut, where I come from … you name it, I have been teased about it. This was what we used to call teasing, which is really bullying, and has gone on from as earlier as I remember until this morning. Let me tell you that is a lot of years. The sources of this bullying are quite varied. It came from classmates, friends, family, and me. Yes, I play a roll in this as well. To be honest it doesn’t matter if you are a size 00 or a size 30 you have been “teased/bullied” at some point in your life. I say this because, for a number of women, that bullying is the negative speak in their head. We think that bullying has to come from outside of us. Well, I’m here to say it does on many fronts and it has to stop but maybe the first line of defense, in stopping it, is to stop bullying ourselves.

I truly believe that all women, regardless of how young or how old they are, have their own unique beauty. It can’t be the same for each woman because we are all unique creations so why should beauty look the same on every single woman? Not every snowflake looks the same, but you can see the beauty. Neither does every flower look the same but the pleasure of seeing a flower on a summer day or one with rain drops on it after a summer shower is truly beautiful. Would you look at that flower and say things like … OMG … you are so fat flower, look at your peddles. They look like you’re a bird, or worse yet, you are so ugly. Why do you exist? I don’t think any of us say those things to a flower or a snowflake but I know firsthand we say them to ourselves. Take one nanosecond to think of when was the last time you said any of those types of things to yourself, whether it was out loud or in your head. It might surprise some of you but I’m pretty confident it won’t surprise the majority of you. For me it was this morning. 

Here is the other question for you. Do you think, if you bully yourself in this way, even if  someone told you every day that you are beautiful, you would hear it or believe it? The answer from experience is NO. You are not open enough to hear it. You are not open enough to truly receive it. And to be honest you aren’t allowing love to truly be part of your life. I’m saying all of this because until about a year and a half ago this was the majority of my existence. I had started to let love in five years ago when I met my husband. But let me tell you, because of my experience to that point, it was a challenge. I had really never been shown unconditional love where someone just loved me for me. I was enough! What I have learned since then is that if I allow love in, it expands my capacity to see things more clearly. No, I’m still not a size whatever my expectation of what it should be is, but what I do know is each day I’m realizing the beauty around me and part of the beauty I’m seeing is the person looking back from the mirror. I’m not perfect but what I’ve learned is to live up to that prefect image … the ones that the bullies painted, is so damaging… so exhausting… 

Truly the beauty does come from within and that is not one of those condescending comments to make you feel better, it is the truth. Think of the world we would live in if every woman, right now, regardless of any other circumstance or their age, stepped into the beauty of who they truly are. You can feel that energy; you can feel the power of it. My wish for today is that every girl/woman step into their beauty right now and stop the cycle of bullying that exists because it is hurtful, cruel, and so unnecessary. My challenge is for you to stop it first in the place that is closest at hand and that is from within. Even a small step right now … what will it be? Build from there. For me it is a smile of knowingness to myself that I have just shared a part of my beauty with all of you. For my next act it will be a smile for that beautiful person looking back at me in the mirror and I think I will add a “hello my old friend, where have you been”. It is time for our beauty to radiate out to the world and allow our essence to shine for people to see. Don’t think, oh, maybe tomorrow… think, YES…. Right now!!!

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