This is the second post in the series on Choices. As I mentioned at the end of the last post this one will take us through the next phase of life.
Okay, let’s progress this one on a bit. Once you hit University/College you had a choice of which school you were going to go to within the ones that accepted your application. Okay, there is a choice. Did you make it on your own? Did you go to the school that made your heart sing or did you go to the one that was most appropriate or that your parents wanted you to go to? At this stage, though you could choose your friends. After all, now you were an adult. Did you choose wisely or were there one or two in there that you were friends with because you knew it would tick off your parents. So at this stage in life didn’t it feel like we had some choices but it was still a bit of a game?
Oh just before we move forward to the next phase I have to ask. Throughout your school years did you rebel against the system? Did you rebel against your parents? To me this rebellion which some view as a right of passage to get to adulthood is more of an expression of feeling like we have no choices so we do things to try and exert ourselves. Sometimes it pans out and sometimes it doesn’t. For me when I was in high school I didn’t take it that seriously. After all the messaging I heard was I didn’t measure up and I wasn’t very good at anything so seriously why would I try. For me, it was part of my rebellion. I received decent grades and I was able to get into University. It did make University a little more challenging because I didn’t have some of the necessary habits honed. But at the end of the day, I made it through and I received my Honours Bachelor degree. I say it that way because if I had realized I had choices even as a kid, a teenager, an adult in my early 20s what would those experiences have been like? Ah, hindsight as they say is always 20/20. But here is the question … would you want to change it? I know I wouldn’t. The experiences I have had made me the person I am today and I’m truly grateful for them.
So let’s jump to the next few things briefly. Job, marriage, children, and house. Now here is where most people think they are starting to make choices. And we do it to the best of our capability. Some of those have underlying factors which some people would consider are beyond their control and there are no choices. Where others would say it is all up to our choices. Here is what I know from my experience. It was at this point where I felt I had many choices and where I felt I had no choices. It was such a quandary to sit in at the time.
Choices can be quite a difficult thing for some of us and even more so when we feel we don’t have any. In the next post of the series, we will venture into a time when my eyes were opened and I realized I had choices.