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I am Whole

December 4, 2019

I have been going through a bit of a time lately. I felt disconnected. When I feel that way I get really out of sorts. My go-to move is to beat myself up because after all, I must have done something wrong. Why, perceptively, of course, is everyone out there doing things and I’m not. They forgot about me. I’m invisible. I can go on but I think you get the point.

It reached a head this morning. The thought of continuing down this path was so unappealing I knew something had to give but I didn’t know what. So I sat in stillness and listened to a mediation done by a gorgeous friend. It was about clearing out fears, doubts, and lack of confidence. After that, I sat with my morning coffee in hand and wrote. I wrote because for me it is a clearing out of thoughts that need to be released. It is almost meditative at times. That’s when I realized I was looking outside of myself again. I was not looking in my heart. I was actually collecting evidence on how I don’t measure up. I wrote for a bit and it ended with the following and a shifting of thinking.

I am whole. I am fine. There is no fixing to do. There is only living and being full on me. 100% me. The authentic me. Not the me clouded by food, alcohol, and judgements. Not the me wanting attention. Not the me who has trouble being by themselves. But the me that is in my heart. The me that knows there are no limits. The me that knows I can do anything if I don’t hide. The me that knows I’m loved. The me that loves. Just be me. 100% me in all of me. Happy, Inner Magnificence Day beautiful Angela. It is time to come out and play full-on.

I shared this with you to let you know that we all go through things and we need a reset. I reached out to a couple of friends late yesterday, which started the process of things shifting for me. I’ll leave you with this thought … remember you are never alone. Reach out when things get out of whack instead of letting it brew and being hard on yourself. Let me know if you are choosing today to stand up and say … I am whole. I am fine. There is no fixing to do.

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