I think the promises we make to ourselves are some of the most important there are. Yes, all promises are important but the ones we make to ourselves carry extra weight. I think it is easy to not carry through on and fulfill promises to ourselves because we put others first and leave ourselves to the end. When we leave ourselves to the end we are sending a signal to the universe that we don’t think we matter. Everyone and everything is so much more important.
This had been my pattern for many years. I would make sure that if I promised to do something it would happen no matter what and regardless of how it impacted me. What I learned over the years was I changed the way I made promises. I made sure that if I was going to promise I did so without compromising myself and my time. Well that change was in the promises I made to others and the ones for me remained the same.
What I mean about not compromising myself is I made sure that a promise didn’t deplete me in any way. The promises were congruent with taking care of me, the time I had available, and they didn’t zap my energy. I received the message at a very young age that putting yourself first was selfish and you should never do that if you wanted to be a good person. The problem is if you aren’t putting yourself first and taking care of yourself then you are giving from a place of depletion or lack. You’re not giving from a heart centred place because you can’t when you are coming from that space.
Even though I had started to realize I needed to take care of myself I still put everyone else’s promises before my own. I would promise myself that I would make a change or do a certain thing but it only lasted until something else I saw as more important came along. You see at that time I didn’t consider myself important because I would be here tomorrow and I could fulfill my promise later. However, the fatal flaw with that thinking is all we know we have for sure is our time right here right now.
So what happens to you if you don’t fulfill your promises to yourself? What do you think that does to your energy, your emotions, and your mindset? Well for me it makes me doubt my abilities. It makes me doubt my integrity and my authenticity. It gives me something for my inner chatter to beat me up with. All of these things impact my energy because it lowers it which makes me less focused, less driven to accomplish things, and if left unchecked I withdraw from interacting with people. Emotionally it makes me sad and sometimes angry. I can also become quite anxious at these times as well. My mindset takes a hit if I’m not careful because my inner chatter reminds me of all the ways I don’t measure up and how can anyone possibly rely on me to do anything when I can’t stick to the one simple thing I promised myself. It can put me in a dark place.
I have been working very diligently about keeping my promises to myself because I am important. I matter! I also make sure to make promises that are appropriate to be promising. Not everything needs to be put into that box. So I make sure to be clear and when I make a promise now to myself or others I’m very deliberate with my words. I outline what it is I’m promising in very clear terms. For me integrity and authenticity are key and I want to show up in the world and for myself making sure these are intact. So when I make a promise it is clear it will be kept.