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Why Do We Second Guess Ourselves?

January 8, 2021

Have you ever been doing something and think “oh my gosh did I do that right?” This happens to me. It used to be quite paralyzing. I would make myself crazy with the mental gymnastics of trying to figure out the exact right steps, the right words, the right whatever. What I have learned is I seconded guessed myself because of fear. Fear of being judged. Fear of being wrong. Fear to look less then. 

I think this fear is a learned response. For me, it has come from being told I can’t do things and I don’t measure up. It’s fascinating how ingrained it can become. An example from today is I was signing a card and I was second-guessing the words I was using. I didn’t want to get them wrong. It made me stop and think about all the ways my life has changed and yet in an instance sometimes the old learned habits creep in. 

It goes to show we need to be vigilant to stand in our light because, if not, in an instant a shadowy old habit will pop on in. When I was second-guessing my words I thought “I should wait and ask my husband to get his opinion”. After I sat for a second I realized that was not necessary but it showed me another old habit that likes to sneak in and that is the assumption others know more than I do. Of course, that is the well-practiced habit of feeling less than but the reality is we all know different things because we have had different experiences and learned different things. Then add to that we all see things through different lenses. So of course I don’t know the same things as others do. This doesn’t make them any more unique or any more worthy than I am.

So essentially we second guess ourselves out of fear from something we learned in the past. Yours might be different from mine but it still leads us to the same place … the shadow of being less than which is a shadow that needs to be busted apart. If we bust this shadow apart and stand in our light we will, from time to time, be wrong and use the wrong words but we will be living as our authentic selves. 

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